From Grammy to Google

When your grandmother dies, especially if she was a baker and a cook and a knitter, you suffer so many kinds of loss. When you can’t remember how to pick up a dropped stitch or how much mayo goes in her chicken divan or how many extra-large eggs you need in a recipe that calls for large (four per five), you get a pang. We used to discuss important matters like these during midnight phone calls.

For my girlfriend’s fortieth birthday party Saturday night, I plan to make Martha Stewart’s Cocoa Buttermilk Cake, but, as she’s not a graduate, and rectangular cakes seem a bit youthful (I’d like to make her feel older, since I’ve got three years on her), I’m trading the two 8x12 pans for two 9-inch rounds. But will it work?

While Google can never replace your grandmother (it doesn’t notice when you’ve gained weight, never tells you it liked your hair better another way, and can’t make chopped liver or love you, for instance), it sure comes in handy when you’re looking for cake pan size conversions. The answer is yes.

But the bigger problem is that this recipe serves just 12-15 (ten, if the guests are all me), and this party has more than twice that. Looks like I'll be making another of Martha's cakes (two layers, though, not three).

Friday and Saturday will be messy days in my kitchen. And I will miss my grandmother a hundred times.

Ahhhhh-vocado

The avocado is a fruit. Many people in the states are unused to this fact and so prepare it in mostly savory dishes. And there's nothing wrong with preserving its purity by mashing it into guacamole or adding a few firm wedges to your salad. After all, the tomato's a fruit, too, but you don't see the diners around town serving hot tomato pie ala mode.

Still, the avocado's creaminess lends itself to use in desserts. In the Philippines, avocado is blended with sugar and milk for a dessert beverage. In Brazil, it's added to ice cream. In my house, it's used in both: blended with soy milk, vanilla, sweeteners, and crushed ice; and stirred into cream and eggs and then frozen. Perhaps we fear the alligator pear for its high-fat content. But one ounce (one-fifth) has about 55 calories and over 25 important nutrients, including fiber, potassium, Vitamin E, B Vitamins, folic acid, lutein, phytochemicals, and beta-sitosterol (whatever it is you can bet it’s good for you!). It has monounsaturated fat and no cholesterol.

This recipe for avocado ice cream is from a low-carb food forum. In my recipe, "sweeteners" refers to half Splenda, half xylitol. You may substitute sugar in equal quantities.

Ingredients
2 egg yolks
2 C heavy cream
1 C sweeteners of choice
1/2 t salt
1/2 t vanilla extract
2 ripe avocados
1/2 t almond extract
1 t lemon juice (opt.)

Instructions
Over low heat until slightly thickened, heat egg yolks, cream, and sweeteners. Add salt and vanilla. Cool in refrigerator.

In a separate bowl, mash avocados 'til smooth, then add 2/3 cup remaining sweeteners, more to taste, almond extract, and lemon juice, if adding (I didn't use it; the color was perfect).

Mix the mash with the cream, and freeze according to your ice cream freezer's instructions.

The avocado is, to quote Linda Richman, "like buttah," so, if you'd prefer, light cream can be substituted for heavy, or you can add a little milk to the whole recipe to tone down the flavor, if you are less comfortable with the idea of sweet avocado.

I leave you with a haiku couplet about my two favorite fruits.

hidden fruit

ebon pebbled skin
protecting sweet butter flesh:
ripe avocado

ugly coconut,
you too pretend to be in-
edible. Liar!

To learn more about the avocado, visit avocado.org. But try the ice cream before summer is gone.

Tongue

When the Thai people say the name tung thong, they make the sound of two bells ringing in the throat. If you've never had tung thong—particularly from the Thai Landing in Baltimore—don't let the name of the dish dissuade you. Or the description: fried bean curd sacks stuffed with chicken and chopped nuts.

My first time was my first visit. And I can't think of a time in over a hundred that I didn't hear its name repeated, like those ringing bells, by a short, black-haired waiter (usually named Charlie). Tung tong is dipped in a sweet peanut sauce. It's my first aphrodisiac. It makes my mouth hum and my soul sing. No wonder Siam is "the land of smiles."